by Breeanna Jent on 2013-10-24
Hundreds took their neighbors’ hands in front of Cal State San Bernardino’s (CSUSB) John Pfau Library Saturday morning, Oct. 19, preparing to take the steps their babies would not have a chance to take.
In a remembrance ceremony just before the 4th Annual Walk to Remember, which commemorates the lives of families affected by the passing of a baby—in pregnancy, stillbirth or infancy loss of any kind—and offers opportunities for support and fundraising for other bereaved family support services.
This year’s walk hosted over 700 participants walking in memory of over 150 children. About $11,000 was raised, which will help provide supplies for local peer support groups and assist hospitals in creating and giving keepsakes to the bereaved.
Amanda Balderrama is a co-founder of the Inland Empire Area’s Walk to Remember Event. After her son Fernando Michael Philip was born and passed away in August 2004, Amanda grieved silently. Years later, in 2010, she co-founded the Walk to Remember event when she realized that sharing can lead to healing. Today, she is a “proud mother of two girls she holds in her arms and two babies she carries in her heart,” an introductory biography on the official Walk to Remember Inland Empire website states.
“We are truly blown away,” Balderrama said in her opening speech to the hundreds standing on the lawn, many wearing commemorative T-shirts naming the child they were remembering that day. “Just to be among you all makes me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you for giving us the honor of being part of your babies’ stories.”
Event co-founder Sarah Miles discovered she and her husband were expecting their first child in October 2006. At 38 weeks gestation, they were told their son no longer had a heartbeat. Brayden Jordan Miles was stillborn on June 26, 2007. In 2010, she co-founded the event with Balderrama, wanting to give her son, and many other babies who had passed away too soon, a place to be openly remembered and celebrated. Today, according to her website bio, Miles is a stay-at-home mother to three living sons.
Guest speaker Kristyn von Rotz, who co-founded the Walk to Remember, Orange County event, gave words of hope and comfort in her speech. Miles credited von Rotz with being the inspiration for bringing Walk to Remember to the Inland Empire.
Von Rotz explained that nine years ago, she gave birth to a son, whom she and her husband Mark named Joseph Thomas. She and her husband “knew he was going to die. We knew it was going to be the most horrible day of our lives. We knew we were going to leave the hospital without our son. Through all the tears and pain and agony and sorrow, there were also smiles. How is it possible, that in this most traumatic of moments, I could find joy?” she asked. “But there was joy. I was seeing my son for the first time. He had my lips, he had his dad’s nose, and this amazing miracle was my son. I’m not going to stand here and lie to you, and tell you the loss of my son was easy. I had people tell me, ‘Just survive day by day.’ No. I survived minute by minute, because the thought of another 24 hours without my baby [was] too much to bear,” she said.
Von Rotz grieved silently, she explained, but she began to find other mothers who empathized.
“Their hugs and words of encouragement gave me hope, and then I became that woman. I was able to support families who had lost a baby. I may never understand why Joseph had to die, but I am able to help others through their loss, and there is joy in knowing I am making a difference, and that Joseph’s short life means something.”
Before the walk, the name of each child was read aloud, and one family member from each family received a white rose and a white balloon, which families carried with them on the walk, in remembrance of their child.
The Perry family was one participating in Saturday’s event, their first time walking. Brenda Perry was accompanied by Brianna Adams, her mother Debbie Proffit and her mother-in-law, Kate Perry. Brenda, who has three living children, was walking in remembrance and honor of her baby Sibley, whom she lost to miscarriage in January. The family was also walking in memory of Colin Patrick, who passed away Oct. 24, 2013. Colin was born to Kate Perry’s son and daughter-in-law, Joanna and Brian, and was given the fatal diagnosis of anencephaly. The family also walked in honor of Brian and Joanna’s “Baby Perry,” whom they lost to miscarriage on Mother’s Day.
“I think [the walk] is very helpful,” said Brenda, “especially to my living children. They received a sibling package that helps them understand [what happened].” Brenda explained that she felt she received a lot of support as she experienced the death of a child and a miscarriage. “I don’t think I could’ve ever come this far without this whole thing,” said Brenda.
Proffit said, “It’s good to know you’re not alone. It is a loss. As a grandmother, you suffer. You suffer watching your child suffer and you don’t know how to deal with that.”
But their story has a silver lining. Now both Brenda and Joanna are once again expecting and are due April 2014, one week apart.
This year Sylvia Gallegos was chosen as the recipient of the 2013 Compassion Award. She was nominated by her daughter, Myra Gallegos, who nominated her after she received support from her mother when Myra learned her daughter’s heart, at just 6 months gestation, had stopped beating.
Following the approximately 2-mile walk around the CSUSB campus, a balloon release and closing ceremony took place.
Hundreds of white balloons, symbolizing each child being remembered that day, were released into the sky, creating a white cloud representing love, loss, and honor.
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4th Annual Walk to Remember
Date: Saturday, October 19, 2013
Time: 8:00 a.m. registration 9:00 a.m. Remembrance Ceremony
Google Map
Event Location: CSUSB
Address: 5500 University Parkway San Bdno CA 92407
Description: Registration is $20 and check-in begins at 8 a.m. The Remembrance Ceremony begins at 9am. Mothers walking for children they have lost.
CONTACT INFO
Phone: 909-235-9255
http://us5.campaign-archive1.com/?u=8e1ec0b276e3c365404c27d3b&id=2ec8d01f19
Schedule of events:
9:00 AM
Remembrance Ceremony
Guest speaker, Kristyn von Rotz
Reading of babies’ names
Musical Tribute
Presentation of Compassion Award
10:00 AM
Memorial Walk
The Memorial Walk its approximately 2 miles, a shorter route will be available. Please no dogs, scooters, bikes, or skateboards. Strollers and wagons are welcome.
11:00 AM
Balloon Release and Closing
Balloons for the environmentally-friendly release will be provided. Mylar balloons are prohibited, your compliance is appreciated.
PR:
4th ANNUAL WALK TO REMEMBER AT CAL STATE SAN BERNARDINO OCT. 19
SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. – “We walk the steps our babies will never take.”
That will likely be the mantra of the participants of the 4th annual Walk to Remember-Inland Empire on Saturday, Oct. 19, at Cal State San Bernardino to commemorate the lives of the hundreds of thousands of families affected by the passing of a baby, through pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and infancy loss of any kind.
Registration is $20 and check-in begins at 8 a.m. The Remembrance Ceremony begins at 9 a.m.
The walk is sponsored by the CSUSB Institute for Child Development and Family Relations. Two Cal State San Bernardino graduates – Amanda Balderrama (B.S. nursing, 2003) and Sarah Miles (B.A. human development, 2006) – founded the non-profit organization, Walk to Remember-IE, in January 2010 after experiencing their own tragedies; each lost a son.
Last year, more than 600 participants remembered and honored the memories of 104 babies. The walk raised more than $11,000. These funds were able to help with a broad range of projects that included:
• A year’s worth of memory boxes were purchased for two local hospitals that did not have the funds to provide them for the families in their care;
• The donation of photography materials to ensure all families were able to capture pictures of their babies at the following hospitals: St. Bernardine Medical Center, San Antonio Community Hospital, Parkview Community Hospital, Hemet Valley Medical Center, and Pomona Valley Hospital Medical Center;
• Providing more than 10 sibling comfort packages to brothers and sisters grasping the loss of their baby sibling;
• Assisting three families with the unexpected end-of-life fees through the organization’s Tender Mercies Program; and
• The newly established Embrace the Journey Program walked with two families through their journey of finding joy in the midst of carrying their baby to term despite receiving the heartbreaking news that their baby would not live long after birth, if at all.
The funds raised by the 2012 Walk to Remember also provided supplies for a local peer support group to create keepsakes for the members’ babies and to celebrate their motherhood on the International Bereaved Mother’s Day.
Proceeds from this year’s fundraiser will be used to ensure every hospital within the region has memory box programs and the needed equipment and supplies to provide families in their care with priceless keepsakes of their baby before leaving the hospital.
With the funds raised the institute will continue to distribute sibling comfort packages to sisters and brothers grasping the loss of their new baby, and make funds available for the Tender Mercies Program that provides compassionate assistance to families with the unexpected end-of-life fees after losing a baby, as well as fund the Embrace the Journey program for families enduring a diagnosis in pregnancy. The proceeds also will help establish and sustain support systems in communities for those who have experienced a loss.
In addition to the walk, there will be a remembrance ceremony with a reading of babies’ names, a musical tribute and an environmentally friendly balloon release. Parents who have experienced a loss will have an opportunity to write a message to their baby to be placed on the Memory Rope.
Statistics from the World Health Organization indicate that this year in the United States 600,000 women will experience a miscarriage, there will be nearly 26,000 stillbirths, and 3,000 infants will die of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
According to Balderrama and Miles, the Inland Empire lacks the support and assistance for families coping with such losses. Walk to Remember-Inland Empire is actively filling the gap by supporting families within the community who have endured infant loss.
For more information and to register for the 4th annual Walk to Remember-Inland Empire, visit the group’s website at http://walktoremember-ie.org or call (909) 235-WALK (9255).
For more information about Cal State San Bernardino, contact the university’s Office of Public Affairs at (909) 537-5007 and visit news.csusb.edu.
PHOTO: Board from my right to left: Board MEmbers:” Leann Fredricks, Kimberly LUcero, Melissa Meekah, Ariceli Rodriguez; Board Member/Co founders
IN front Event coordinators: Eileen Goula, LIndsay Goula, Cheryl Miller, Heather Tollen, Kimberly Lucero, Kim Rodriguez, Melissa Meekah